Monday, March 30, 2009

heat wave in may

We are having a major heat wave in Los Angeles. Everything is dry and hot and sticky as I hang up the phone with jimmy and put my bare legs on the cooler part of the comforter. I think about earlier in front of the children's hospital, waiting for a cab to go and meet Brenda and Drew at my house. I stood alone on Sunset BLVD watching traffic, white skirt, old T shirt, thinking about the future. "Will things feel less lonely?" I wondered. I don't have any answers. Stella is stretched out, belly up and I've got the fan up on high. All the windows in my rooms don't have screens, I'm sure the mosquitos will eat me alive. I say to Jimmy, "when we're done with this let's all go to Mexico and live on the beach for 12 years painting surfboards." He laughs with enthusiasm and honesty that I've only now come to know well. His trust is mine and I'm scared of everything I could lose. My room is a mess, I've spent the whole weekend out trying to escape the reality of life. I feel like I am too young for this stress, do all 25 year olds go through this? I'm starting to think it's a certain age feeling. You start to worry about your career and money and meeting someone and kids and true friends... and falling in love. Fall in love, our slogan. It's just too ironic.

I'm gonna try and sleep in this heat. Maybe I'll watch Gidget...

may 2007

No comments:

Post a Comment